black holes and gray matter. in one thousand tangos.


On the hunger

"Have you ever lost the hunger? You seem like someone who consumes everything and delights in it all. But have you ever lost it, for even a period of time? If so, how did you get it back? Is the hunger of discovery and experience something that can be taught or practiced without being born with it?"

"I lose the hunger all the time. Right now, for instance. August left my body sore and my soul polluted. I’m spiritually exhausted, and the strength it takes to recover borrows from the hunger.

It’s not all that unpleasant. It’s not much of anything really, a sort of constant state of anhedonia. Nothing tastes. Nothing touches. Words come out of me, but I don’t recognize them. I’m just here, making a bunch of gestures and signs, interacting with a world I can’t feel.

It’s okay, though. I’ve done this many times. I’m comfortable with the ebb and flow of my emotional well-being. It’s a delicate sine wave, the amplitude and frequency of which I’ve learned to observe from a distance without needing to control it in the moment.

I have enough perspective to recognize the balance. I know better than to course correct with chemicals or consumerism. I don’t wanna fuck up my curve, because I know the hunger comes back.

It’s not up to me, but it always comes back. The trick is in giving up that control, in fully accepting that it’s not up to me, in knowing that nothing is or ever was up to me in the first place, and that it’s all gonna be okay, even if it’s not.

I’ll let you know when I’m hungry again.”


"Colorado recreational pot shops sold $29.7 million dollars of product in July. That’s just one little orange hair more than the med-dudes across town, who puffed in at $28.9 million. That’s—we’re just gonna put the whole number there—$58,600,000.00. Or, roughly the amount of money the White House is looking to spend fighting the Ebola outbreak across this little continent called Africa.

Which means that, according to this tax receipt, the State of Colorado raked in nearly $7.5 million in taxes and fees in July alone. Year-to-date is a coffer-filling $13,027,709. This is a nice twist from the reported $20 billion our government spends on marijuana prohibition.”


Top: Londoners arriving at a competition in 1937 for the Men’s Dress Reform Party, a group that advocated loosening the rigid standards of men’s fashion.

Bottom: 2015 NYFW: Pieter dress; J. W. Anderson’s crop top; Thom Browne’s voluptuous silhouette; Prada’s sheer knits

I’m not an idiot. I know the vast majority of these clothes won’t touch human skin. It’s a sad fact. Nevertheless, it’s important that they do exist, because they propose an alternative. To borrow the words of Craig Green, “Everything doesn’t have to be sports and anger.””

A Men’s Wear Revolution

©2011 Kateoplis