black holes and gray matter. in one thousand tangos.

             
Last American Who Knew What The Fuck He Was Doing Dies

Steve Jobs, the visionary co-founder of Apple Computers and the only American in the country who had any clue what the fuck he was doing, died Wednesday at the age of 56. “We haven’t just lost a great innovator, leader, and businessman, we’ve literally lost the only person in this country who actually had his shit together and knew what the hell was going on,” a statement from President Barack Obama read in part, adding that Jobs will be remembered both for the life-changing products he created and for the fact that he was able to sit down, think clearly, and execute his ideas—attributes he shared with no other U.S. citizen.

"This is a dark time for our country, because the reality is none of the 300 million or so Americans who remain can actually get anything done or make things happen. Those days are over." Obama added that if anyone could fill the void left by Jobs it would probably be himself, but said that at this point he honestly doesn’t have the slightest notion what he’s doing anymore.

The Onion

/ Show
  1. diemohnblume reblogged this from cagn
  2. everywhereherethere reblogged this from kateoplis
  3. cathedralsofthought reblogged this from kateoplis
  4. bolinaosunset reblogged this from thisisaliahs
  5. littlemizspoiled reblogged this from kateoplis
  6. deermouse reblogged this from brocatus and added:
    man i love the Onion i’m not even American!
  7. alekalek reblogged this from kateoplis
  8. mandeebeam reblogged this from kateoplis
  9. sydneytilley reblogged this from just-be-friendss and added:
    I am devastated about Steve passing! Devestated!
  10. katie-alice reblogged this from kateoplis
  11. des-partages reblogged this from kateoplis
  12. wilduhbeastt reblogged this from kateoplis and added:
    I read this at first and was thought “what is this?" Then I saw the source and laughed
  13. grumblelog reblogged this from kateoplis
  14. newyorkminingdisaster reblogged this from tectusregis
  15. clever-ironic-title reblogged this from kateoplis
  16. walkingonair2 reblogged this from kateoplis
  17. andseawater reblogged this from kateoplis
  18. detourist reblogged this from kateoplis
  19. skevast reblogged this from kateoplis
  20. kateoplis posted this
blog comments powered by Disqus
©2011 Kateoplis