black holes and gray matter. in one thousand tangos.

             
Atheists Will Take Care of Your Pets After the Rapture

Bart Centre, 61, a retired retail executive in New Hampshire has started a service called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets that promises to rescue and care for animals left behind by the saved. Promoted on the Web as “the next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World,” the service has attracted more than 100 clients, who pay $110 for a 10-year contract ($15 for each additional pet.) If the Rapture happens in that time, the pets left behind will have homes—with atheists. Centre has set up a national network of godless humans to carry out the mission.

Centre doesn’t think he will ever have to follow through on the service he offers. But he believes in virtuous acts. His Web site directs about $200 a month in proceeds from Google ads to food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire. And to pet owners, he has already delivered something of great value: peace of mind, for just 92 cents a month. “If we thought the Rapture was really going to happen,” Centre says, “obviously our rate structure would be much higher.”

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  1. thefascinationequation reblogged this from auhasardrobert
  2. auhasardrobert reblogged this from 9-of-cups
  3. caseymckinnon reblogged this from ladimcbeth and added:
    Hellz yea! Count this atheist in!
  4. alisonmunn reblogged this from mikehudack
  5. headphonesnotrequired reblogged this from ladimcbeth and added:
    mikehudack: pdemul: kateoplis:...Genius. I should let my landlord’s parents know that I...
  6. ladimcbeth reblogged this from mikehudack and added:
    Oh my, this is too much hilarious.
  7. matchesmalone reblogged this from mikehudack and added:
    By definition, he’s deluded.
  8. mikehudack reblogged this from pdemul
  9. pdemul reblogged this from kateoplis and added:
    Only in USA.
  10. upupdown reblogged this from jaredm
  11. coopergriggs reblogged this from amomenttothink and added:
    Brilliant.
  12. 9-of-cups reblogged this from kateoplis and added:
    This is the greatest thing I have read all day.
  13. jaredm reblogged this from kateoplis and added:
    on this hysteria to supplement my income.” Hilarious....Rapture came, I’d make
  14. enormousair reblogged this from kateoplis and added:
    Effin’ GENIUS. So mad I didn’t...this first. Next money-for-nothing idea: 2012 insurance....
  15. embody reblogged this from kateoplis
  16. haphazardmangos reblogged this from kateoplis
  17. amomenttothink reblogged this from kateoplis and added:
    Bart Centre, 61, a retired retail executive in New Hampshire has started a service called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets that...
  18. kateoplis posted this
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