“Eternity is very long, especially towards the end.”
“There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.”
“All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.” — Woody Allen
Art: Thomas Wrede
“In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.”
“I sometimes imagine that death might be more tolerable if I passed away in my sleep, although the reality is, no form of dying is acceptable to me with the possible exception of being kicked to death by a pair of scantily clad cocktail waitresses.
Perhaps if I were a religious person, which I am not, although I sometimes do have the intimation that we all may be part of something larger — like a Ponzi scheme. A great Spanish philosopher wrote that all humans long for “the eternal persistence of consciousness.” Not an easy state to maintain, especially when you’re dining with people who keep talking about their children.
And yet, there are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you. For instance, I would not like to survive a stroke and for the rest of my life talk out of the side of my mouth like a racetrack tout. I would also not like to go into a coma, to lie in a hospital bed where I’m not dead but can’t even blink my eyes and signal the nurse to switch the channel from Fox News. And incidentally, who’s to say the nurse isn’t one of those angel of death crazies who hates to see people suffer and fills my intravenous glucose bag with Exxon regular. …
Summing up, there are two distinct groups, hypochondriacs and alarmists. Both suffer in their own ways, and traits of one group may overlap the other, but whether you’re a hypochondriac or an alarmist, at this point in time, either is probably better than being a Republican.”
Woody Allen: Hypochondria - An Inside Look
The two-part, three-and-a-half-hour-long Woody Allen: A Documentary, premiers tonight on PBS as part of their American Masters series. Here, the seventy-six-year-old Allen shows off his sixty-year-old typewriter. So much to love.